


Is This All A Dream?

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Drama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-02-18
Updated: 2006-02-18
Packaged: 2019-05-15 22:21:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14799068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: How do you tell your friends?  And how do you cope?





	Is This All A Dream?

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

**Is This All A Dream?**

**by:** janddkraz 

**Character(s):** Leo McGarry  
**Category(s):** Character Death   
**Rating:** ADULT  
**Summary:** How do you tell your friends? And how do you cope?  
**Written:** 2005-12-20  
**Author's Note:** In memory of John Spencer.

It's times like these you hate the most when you have to share bad news. John Spencer's passing is utterly shocking and I must say... 

I could never do justice in writing his memory but I am willing to try... 

RIP John... 

The clouds roll in above him. Darker than the other. To say the day is gloomy is a sad understatement. Josh looks up and watches as the sky cries. He just lets the drops fall on his face to hide his own tears. It only grows darker and the trees sway at the sudden wind. 

“Dad, please take care of Leo.” 

THE PREVIOUS DAY -

Josh is working feverishly at his desk. Working on the latest polls. He doesn’t even notice Donna standing there before him. Finally he sees her remain there. 

“Donna?” 

“Josh...” 

He holds up the results of the latest polls and walks over to her. 

“Donna, I think I figured out by these results that Leo can be the next Vice President...” 

“Josh...” 

“More importantly of course is Matthew Santos winning the Presidency...” 

“Josh!” 

“What?” 

She walks over close to him and takes the paper away from his grasp and sets it down on the desk. She holds his hand into hers. “Josh, you should sit down.” 

Donna is trying so hard to not show her emotions of what she is about to share with him. She wants to mourn this tragedy with him and cry with him. Be with him as best she can. She settles him down in his chair. 

Finally seeing something is really wrong, “Donna, what is it?” 

She can’t hold her tears much longer, “Josh, it’s Leo...” 

Josh suddenly get up. “What?” 

“Josh, he...he had a heart attack last night...” 

“Is he going to be ok?” He now shows some emotion. 

“He...he didn’t...” 

“No, don’t you dare finish that sentence! He’s gonna be fine...” 

“He...” 

“He’ll be fine! He’s about to win...” 

Donna can’t take it anymore she has to get this out and have him understand. “He died. I’m so sorry...” 

Josh is pacing now, “No. No!” He stops at his chair and sits down. She runs to him and hugs him. “No.” he cries softly. 

“I’m so sorry.” Tears are rolling down Donna’s face. 

He takes a moment to catch his breath and compose. “Do...does everyone else know?” 

“It hit the news just moments ago.” 

He turns to her and looks at her with red, tear stained eyes. It just breaks her heart to see him hurt so much. 

“Can, you please give me a minute? I need to call Toby.” 

“Yes. Of course. If you need anything...’ 

“I know. Thank you, Donna.” She kisses his cheek before she leaves. 

Another minute. 

His cell phone just lays on the desk for a minute while he stares at it. Trying to piece together his words that have to spoken. 

He picks up the phone and dials a familiar number. It rings three times. 

“Hello?” 

“Toby?” 

“Josh?” 

“Do you have your TV on?” 

“No. Why? You sound like shit.” 

Ignoring his comment, “Good. At least I can be the one to tell you this...I hate to bare bad news but Leo died today...” he trails off. 

“What?” 

“He had a heart attack last night ...he..he didn’t make it...” 

“Oh my god. Who told you?” 

“Donna. But it hit the airwaves just moments ago.” He stares at the TV screen before him as he talks. 

Silence. 

“Toby? Are you still there?” 

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m sorry. And I’m sorry to hear this devastating news...How are you doing?” 

“Surprisingly better than I thought I would. I think partly it hasn’t hit me yet. I mean I stare at this screen and I’m saying the words but I just feel I will wake up any moment and it will all be a fucking nightmare!” He raises his voice with every word. 

“I know. Oh, god!” 

Taking himself out of his world, “What?” 

“Sam...” 

“Sam.” 

“You want to tell him or should I?” 

“You...” a beep. “Damn, I have another call, can you hold?” 

“Yeah.” 

Josh flips to the other caller, “Hello?” 

He hears a woman’s voice cracking on the other line. 

“Josh?” 

“C.J.” 

“I can’t believe it!” 

“I know. I was just telling Toby. He’s on the other line...” 

Josh can tell she has been crying. 

“He is?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Can...you...you put him on?” 

“I’ll try. One second...” 

He clicks over to the other call, “Toby?” 

“Yeah?” 

“C.J. is on the other line. She wanted me to do 3 way convo. Can I call you back?” 

“She wants to talk to me?” 

“I think she just wants to hear you and know that you are okay. So I’ll call you back in just a minute.” 

“Okay.” 

Josh clicks over to C.J. “I’m calling him back.” 

“Okay.” 

THAT FOLLOWING MORNING - 

“I can’t believe he’s gone...” 

He was my father. He IS my father. 

He stood by me when no one else would or could. 

Yes, sure we had our moments. We pissed each other off a number of times, but when it all counted the most... 

When it counted the most, he was there. 

He was with me when I lost my dad to cancer. 

He was there when Joanie died. 

It just seems like I always loose the ones I love. 

It feels like I always drive people away! 

Everytime something incredible happens, something has to happen! 

Why? 

Why me, God! 

Why do you do this to me! 

Why is this harder than anything I have had to face in my life! 

Why? 

Why do I want to give up? 

I have never been known to go down without a fight. Proof of that, I stand here. 

I stand here and Leo doesn't. 

I stand here and dad doesn't. 

I stand here and Joanie doesn't! 

I stand here when I shouldn't have! 

Why? 

Please tell me God... 

Is This All A Dream? 

THE END 

NOTE: I know this is nothing compared to some major talented writers out there but I felt I needed to at least have my feelings heard..."The streets of Heaven are 'truly' too crowded with angels tonight." 


End file.
